The Female of the Species

I have been pondering some deep thoughts lately.

I understand that there has to be a difference between men and women. If there were not, we would have no little folk lying around needing clean diapers, and my Pampers stock would tank.

When we adopted Meredith the Baseball Coach I managed to be missing each time a diaper needed changing. It took time for my wife to catch on… but she did, and I could not avoid this onerous task when Ashlee the Nutritionist came along.

Rudyard Kipling was an English writer who left home as a teenager, and traveled over the world. He wrote many poems, novels and short stories. The one thing he penned apropos to this topic is: “The female of the species is deadlier than the male”. He learned this early on, and it is the reason that he left his mother as soon as he was weaned. Some believe that he was referring to cobras and tigers and maybe even black widow spiders. Not so: old Rudyard could cope with those beasts. It was women who put him on the run.

Kipling also penned: “But til we are built like angels, with hammer and chisel and pen, we will work for our self and a woman, for ever and ever, Amen.” This is just another way of saying that behind every successful man there is a woman…….with a credit card.

My IQ is way up there, according to Stanford and Binet and my grandson Stuart. Regardless, this does not put me where I can understand females until it is usually too late.

Only once in my adult life did I react in time. I was very much in love with a nineteen year old beauty who lived in Alabama. I was twenty six at the time, and had a new Thunderbird. Almost every weekend I would drive the four hundred miles to her home town and we would hold hands at the drive-in theater. One day I was sitting in the kitchen, waiting for my date to get ready to go out. Her mother casually mentioned that her daughter had suddenly shown an interest in LEARNING TO COOK!

To read the rest of the story visit our virtual paper by clicking on this link!