Mish-Mash

At times subjects for my weekly column are difficult to come by. On occasion I end up with too many possibilities.

This week I am closer to the latter, so I have titled it “Mish-mash”. This term comes from a now defunct American Indian tribe-------The Minequans, I believe, or perhaps it was the Lower Kickapoos-------- and it means “don’t stir up the cooking pot, you may not like what you find”.

So here is a “mish-mash” of ideas that I have had for some time. Please don’t tell me that I skipped around too much in this work. I intend to skip around, and confuse all but the most erudite and understanding reader.

Some of these ideas I have discarded as improper or perhaps not worthy of such a first line newspaper as the Jackson County Times. A few ideas will be mentioned briefly, more to tantalize that to fulfill you, and I shall pick them up at a later time and expand and expound on them, and present you with a full column of great interest. If not exciting to you, I know that the twelve members of my blog will read them, and I will be happy.

For the first one, I would like to call to your attention that we are nearing early voting time, which is when we eager citizens will participate in balloting via some amazing machines at Sylvia Steven’s office, or at a couple of other selected sites in our wide county. Our choices between candidates will be fairly straightforward, but the proposed amendments? These will give you problems unless you follow these directions closely. First, read the amendment as it will appear on the ballot. Secondly, study thoroughly all of the editorials in the newspapers that give you points either for or against each one. Then scour your mail on the subject. Spend at least two nights on each one and arrive at a conclusion. Decide to vote it up or down, in or out, yes or no. Then go to the booth and vote the exact opposite and you will be, as Sid Riley our Mangling Editor says in his column, “getting it right”.

I have also had the urge to denigrate one or more, or all, of the candidates for office, and to promote one party over the other, but in Florida that is dangerous. It is best for me to avoid this. I would like to note that a couple of years ago my column was titled: “Political Party? Take Your Pick!”, and I listed out the twenty or so parties that have official standing in our State. I ended up stating that if I ever left the “Grand Old Party”, with it’s elephants and flags, I would probably swing over to the Surfers’ Party of America. You younger readers may believe that this relates to the nerds of computerdom, but you are wrong. If you are a true Surfer then you will be seen deep within the curl of a giant wave off Kanehoe Bay. And you will vote a straight Surfer party line.

My first venture into voting was in the early 1950s. General Dwight D. Eisenhower was waging a campaign against not only the incumbent but against a strong Democrat party. He rode to victory under the banner of “I Like Ike”. About the same time a strange little creature from South Georgia came out of the Okefenokee Swamp and into the hearts and minds of America through a comic strip titled “Pogo”. Wile E. Cat conned him into running for president with “I Go Pogo” as his motto. This little fellow was, of course, Pogo Possum, and he gave sage advice that is often recalled today. “We have met the enemy and he is us” is quoted somewhere daily, usually by treehuggers. I personally like “We don’t know all the answers, ‘cause we ain’t sure of the questions yet”. The latter seems more appropriate to our times. He had other friends: Cherchez La Femme, who was a turtle, and Albert Alligator, who was, as you might expect, an alligator, but one that smoked a cigar and walked on his hind feet. I didn’t vote for Pogo then, but I believe I wrote him in for governor in a later election. He would have made a good one.

I am tempted to tell, in detail, how Margo Lamb, producer of The Fitness Corner show on Chipola Speaks, interviewed me on television and presented me with another 5K medal. Margo has freckles, and that makes her okay with me, and puts her on my list of all time favorites, but not as high up as Doris Day, who also has freckles. As I tried to compact this event into a short form, I realized that I had enough material for a full column, so I will go no further for now.

On the way out of the studio after my interview I was stopped by Royce Reagan, who suggested that I do a monthly show, something in the vein of my writings. I felt flattered that he would ask me to do this, until I recalled that he often goes on the air and says “Don’t call me and tell me of an idea for a show. Come in and do it yourself”. It makes me believe that Royce is desperate for new material, and might already be hanging around the courthouse and accosting accused folks that have posted bond and suggesting that they come down and show the TV audience how to set up a meth lab.

So look for expanded columns from me, drawn from the subjects mentioned here, and possibly for my monthly Chipola Speaks show, as soon as I decide the format.

Unless Royce signs up the meth lab man first.