Honors aplenty!

I have just been honored!
I am not very good with computers, but I am learning. I occasionally go on line to see what is happening in this fascinating world of communication.
Last week I had a “pop-up”! I thought that “pop-ups” were something like zits on teenagers, bumps that call for immediate panic and canceling of Saturday night dates. But I was wrong. This “pop-up” indicated that I was about to be honored.

I had five people on something that’s called FaceBook asking me to join them. Imagine that, five folks, only one of whom is kin to me! And something called “FaceBook”! This implies looking into someone’s eyes and accepting their accolades. I found out that I would need to post a personal picture. That in itself presents a problem. Should I send the one of me in my dress white Navy uniform, made when I was twenty three?

How about the one that a professional photographer took for our Methodist Church Directory? That was quite an experience. When I sat down to make the selection, the sales person told me that he could “erase my facial scars”. I am very proud of my facial scars. This would be like asking an old time Prussian Army officer to have plastic surgery to get rid of his saber marks. It just isn’t done. So the Directory will show the Sneads Methodist Lay Leader in all his glory, scars, untrimmed beard and all.

I may settle on the picture that is at the head of my column in the Jackson County Times. A lady told me that it made her think of a famous movie star. I assumed she meant Sean Connery, for that was my aim when I first grew my beard. She said, no, that I really resembled Gabby Hayes. That immediately placed her in the time frame of over sixty years of age, since a younger person would not know Mr. Hayes. Another said that I looked as she would imagine a mischievous Santa Claus would appear between Christmas seasons. That’s acceptable, and so is the photograph.

I have received other honors. Those of you that have followed my columns recall that I told of how Admiral John S. McCain, Jr. (the Senator’s father) honored me by remembering me eight years after I performed a valued service for him. I had procured a case of Dutch Masters cigars when he assumed command of the ship that I served in, so he most certainly kept that important action tucked away in a corner of his mind.

Once I took over the reins of the Tri Rivers Waterway Development Association as the interim executive director. I held that position for three months and, to my credit, moved it forward toward its goals. At the end of that time I was given an aluminum Louisville Slugger baseball bat engraved with the name of the organization, my dates of service and “Home Run Homer” prominently displayed. I have kept this bat concealed, though, since I have two grandsons that play baseball and a daughter who coaches and I do not want to have to tell them that this does not indicate that I have had outstanding playing time in America’s favorite sport.

And if you go on line (JacksonCountyTimes.Com) because you are too cheap to pay fifty cents for up-to-date news, you can look at my column, adorned with my mischievous Santa picture and directly underneath an invitation to become a Homer Hirt “Follower”. I did not know what this really meant until recently. I recalled the famous Lee Iacocca’s admonition when he took over Chrysler to “Lead, follow or get out of the way”. I immediately assumed that most of my readers were getting out of the way. To learn more I went in to see the Times’ REAL EDITOR Stephanie. She sat me down and showed me the workings, which seems to have something to do with a “Blog”, another term that I don’t understand. She could tell that I was unhappy to have no followers, so she logged herself in.

I also decided that my three children should be followers. They have never followed my advice before, but it won’t hurt them to log in, and, as near as I can tell, it doesn’t cost to participate. No, that’s not quite right. It could cost them something not to participate. October is the month when I review my “Last Will and Testament”. I have not made a revision for some years, but this could be the time for change. I may well give each of them notice by registered mail that the opportunity is fleeting and fleeing, and I expect a lot of “Followers” to pop-up, with their own names leading the list (remember, “lead, follow or get out of the way”). My estate could be spent by me in riotous living. I will give them till Halloween.

I have only one other comment, and it has to do with “following”. In the very early days of our entry into World War II, our naval forces in the Pacific were scattered, as were the other Allied warships. A force was gathered up, comprised of American, Australian, Dutch and British ships. The fleet was a conglomeration of old cruisers and destroyers that had little in common except a hatred for their new enemy. The senior officer was Dutch Admiral Karel Von Doormann. Communication between ships was almost non existent, but the good admiral gathered them up and ran up the signal flag for “Follow Me”.

I wish I could tell you that Von Doormann was successful in his venture, but I cannot. Almost all of his ships were sunk in his first and only sea battle, with a frightful loss of life. But I can assure you that if you become a Homer Hirt “Follower” your ship will not sink, and you may well live to become an octogenarian, as I soon will be!