Did Will Rogers REALLY Say THAT? 12/18/08

By Homer Hirt
Those of us that are afflicted with E-Mail occasionally receive a list of more or less appropriate-to-the-times statements, definitions or "top ten" comments, purporting to have originated from some famous person. He may be living or dead, a comedian or straight man, a historian or a hack. The comments may be in character or could be 180 degrees out from what you might expect.
I have on my desk the transcript of a speech that was attributed to Isaac Asimov, the talented science fiction writer. I have filed it, not because of its authorship, but because of the contents. I also have received a description, attributed to Dave Barry, of a colonoscopy, and it is not worth saving, even though it describes the process in excruciating detail. Some events are better left in limbo. I started to say that it should be left behind, but that is too close to the process itself.
It is almost a certainty that in the next few days I will receive a list of Top 10 comments on politics or morality, done by a movie star or a singer or even an athlete. The thoughts will be good, but the idea of that particular person compiling them will seem almost impossible. If I receive one that claims to have been authored by George Foreman, for example, and it is about anything but boxing or cooking on one of his famous grills I will doubt its authorship.
So, when I found a list that was attributed to Will Rogers, known in the early part of the Twentieth Century as the "Cowboy Philosopher", I decided to reacquaint myself with his sayings and writings. I have found that the actual comments were better than I had recalled, and, more importantly, pertinent to our life today. And it motivated me to share some of his thoughts, many of which emanated from what he referred to as the "National Joke Factory", better known as the United States Congress.
Will Rogers grew up in Oklahoma on a cattle ranch, and never was very comfortable anywhere else. He liked to do "rope tricks", twirling his lasso in intricate patterns, and went on the road with a wild west show. This was after he had worked his way around the world on ships, stopping off in several countries to work as a cowhand. Once, while performing, he added short commentaries, and this soon became the best part of his acts.
As he gained fame poking fun at politicians, industrialists, labor unions and others, almost in equal proportion, he grew in popularity, ending up as a star in the famous Ziegfield Follies in New York City. He appeared in stage plays, including Eugene O’Neill’s Ah Wilderness. He signed on to do a weekly radio broadcast, on condition that all of the proceeds go to charity. He then went to Hollywood and made movies, including Steamboat Round the Bend. It is estimated that he presented the world with over two million words, all of them entertaining and appropriate.
Here’s some of Will Rogers’ ideas about Congress. See if you think times have changed!
Congress is so strange...a man gets up to speak and no one listens...and then everybody disagrees.
All of the senators and congressmen are away from Washington now. It is the season of the year when they do the least damage to their country.
The new senator says he is going to use "common sense" in the senate. That’s what they all say when they start in. But then, if nobody don’t understand you, then, naturally, you have to switch.
About all I can say about the U. S. Senate is that they open with a prayer and close with an investigation.
Rogers didn’t let the office of the president off easily, even though he was always welcome at the White House. He was personally acquainted with both Roosevelts, Teddy and FDR, and all in between. Perhaps because of this he was kinder to them than he was most of the other politicians.
A president-elect’s popularity is the shortest lived of any public man’s. It only lasts till he picks his cabinet.
Most of our presidents never went in for plans. They only had one plan that said: "Boys, my head is turned. Get it while you can!"
Men in America live, hope and die trying to become president. If they can’t make it, they accept the booby prize and go in the Senate.
This president business is a pretty thankless job; Washington, or Lincoln either, didn’t get a statue until people were sure they were dead.
An awful lot of people are predicting the president’s downfall-not only predicting but praying. We elect our presidents, be they Republicans or Democrats, then go home and start darin’ them to make good.
Of course, he had plenty to say about both of the principal political parties. He did say that he "did not belong to any organized political party, I’m a Democrat".
Both parties have their good times and their bad times, only they have them at different times. They are each good when they are out, and each bad when they are in.
Democrats could live on little, because they never had anything else. But they don’t live on little when they get into office.
This country runs in spite of the parties. In fact, parties are the biggest handicap we have to contend with.
The country’s common citizens did not get off without criticism. But he was mostly kind to them. He came along when women were fighting for the vote, and finally, in the early 1920s, got it. He was quick to point out the differences between the sexes.
The Nineteenth Amendment, I think that’s the one that made women humans, by Act of Congress.
If you let women have their way, you will generally get even with them in the end.
Ain’t it funny, we can see our friends or neighbors go out, make bad investments, do fool things, but we never say a word…but his vote? Why, we get to tell him about that, for he’s kinder ignorant and narrow-minded, and don’t see things our way
I believe that Will Rogers would be having a field day with the auto makers testifying before Congressional committees. Investigations and such happened in his day, and he had plenty to say about the proceedings.
The very day that all this testimony came out, in the same papers, there was a picture of a man with one of those truth machines fastened on his wrists. They are supposed to tell when you are lying. That very day, in Washington, there were guys testifying with nothing on their wrists but silk shirts. God bless America for a sense of humor.
As I always like to do in my articles, I will tie Will Rogers into my own life.
On August 15, 1935 my father had taken my mother and me on a drive. I was five years old. It was drizzling rain. We were on a Jackson County road, and I do not recall why he had decided to go up that way. Suddenly over the radio came a voice that told us that Will Rogers and his good friend Wiley Post, had crashed their aircraft in Point Barrow, Alaska. Both were killed. We drove on in the rain. Suddenly by the side the road my father spotted two little kittens, soaking wet and obviously abandoned. He stopped and my mother and I dried off the tiny fellows, and I immediately named them "Will" and "Wiley".
Through the years I read Will Rogers’ words, watched his movies, listened to people that knew him. I have visited his museum in Claremore, Oklahoma. His words are timeless for our country.
Two sayings stick with me: "It’s a great country, but you can’t live in it for nothing" and "I never met a man I didn’t like". There is no one like him today in public life, but we certainly could use such a person.